I’ve seen lots of social, cultural, and educational trends during a long career working with kids and their families, but few are as obvious as the increasing number of children being raised by grandparents.  According to the U.S. Census Bureau seven million live in households headed by grandparents.  That’s a lot of kids. 

I’ve worked with many of them.  Here’s what I’ve noticed.  These kids are every bit as eager to make their grandparents proud of them as kids in traditional households.  These kids have the same basic needs, the same aspirations, the same desire for guidance. 

Here’s what else I’ve noticed.  Grandparents are eager for a little help, a little nurturing, and a little support.  “What do I start with?”  “It’s been so long since I was in school, how can I help with homework?”  “Am I out of my league?”  “Can I do this?” 

No need to get into the reasons for grandparents raising kids.  Each family is unique, with its own dynamics, strengths, and needs.  But if grandparents want a little encouragement, a couple of tips from someone who’s worked with lots of them, here’s my two cents’ worth about the considerable gifts older folks can give to young folks.

1. Safety.  Kids’ most important need.  If we want them to succeed in school, to have confidence in the classroom and the neighborhood, they must first feel safe.  The grand moms and granddads I’ve known are experts in helping kids feel safe in a sometimes topsy-turvy world.  Your mere presence says, “You’re safe with me.” 
2. Love.  Grandparents’ specialty!  Kids need to know they’re loved, cared for, and part of a larger group.  Safety and love – with these two basic needs, you’re already on the right track, and they’re ready to make you proud.
3. Routine.  This is one of my favorite topics.  Routines let kids know what’s coming next and what we expect of them.  And because healthy routines help kids with their school work, they’ll soon see results.  Those results will lead to confidence.  A virtuous circle.
4. Organization.  Grandparents have a thing or two to share about organizing their lives.  Even if it’s been a long time since they’ve had to maintain notebooks and assignment schedules, they’re still experts at navigating daily life and its expectations.  Showing kids how you organize your household – calendars, written reminders, planners – translates easily to school organization.
5. Communication.  Vital.  Talking with kids at the end of every school day, asking what went on in English class and the lunch room, listening to the daily stories about friends and teachers, keeping up with progress on the science fair project – these are ways to show you’re interested and not to be diverted.
6. Responsibility.  You’ve been responsible for years.  Recognize that.  Know that you’re a fine role model for your grandkids.  Show them how you’ve lived up to expectations, sometimes with difficult challenges, sometimes with failure, but always with determination.  What a great life lesson!
7. Expectations.  Who better than grandparents to set high expectations for kids?  Don’t worry if you don’t understand the homework, or if it’s been a long, long time since you’ve even thought about photosynthesis.  When in doubt, insist on neatness – if it’s not neat enough for you, it’s not neat enough for Ms. Greenleaf.  Ask kids to “explain” their answers, essays, and projects.  They’ll strengthen their understanding, and you’ll learn, too.
8. Wisdom.  You’ve got tons of this.  You’ve fought for it, earned it, learned it, embraced it, and now you can share it.  For example, show the grandkids the wisdom of learning from mistakes, of persistence, of doing their best, and of lifelong learning.  Just like you’re doing.
9. Compassion.  A little silver in the hair generally is a sign that we’ve been around long enough to gain compassion for others.  When grandkids see you quick to praise and slow to anger, they’re learning a very important life lesson.
10. Family.  You’re their link to their past and their present.  Give them the gift of family ties, family lore, family history, and family belonging.  All kids want to feel part of a larger group.  You can give them membership to the best group of all – family.

Grandparents have lifetimes of learning to share with their grandkids.  I remind my students’ grandparents of the wisdom, experience, and love they have to share.  Yes, if you’re a custodial grandparent, it’s a big job you’ve taken on.  Yes, you’re concerned about energy and stamina and relevance.  But, my goodness, what great gifts you’re blessing your grandkids with.  Recognize those gifts, take pride in them, and watch your grandkids grow.

It’s the middle of October.  Fall’s here.  Colors are changing, school’s in full swing, the new TV season’s begun, and there’s a chill in the air.  It’s a good time to look at some fun ways to keep kids’ minds active and learning during the school day and after.  Art teachers are a great source of ideas for seasonal kid crafts.  Librarians help with the newest and most popular books.  Coaches have great ideas for outdoor activities.  I’ve used all of them – plus some ideas I’ve used myself in classrooms – for these tips for fall fun for kids.

1. Do some fall crafts.  Coloring, collecting, painting, designing, cutting, pasting – kids love creatively keeping busy.  I never cease to be amazed at their imaginations and curiosity when we adults give them free – but supervised – rein.  Here are some ideas.  Since it’s getting cooler, it’s sweater weather.  For some kids, learning to knit can turn into a lifelong and useful hobby.

2. Collect autumn stuff.  Take little recesses to hunt for and collect acorns, colorful leaves, pinecones and other collectibles that remind you of fall.  Put the acorns in see-through plastic vases for lunch table decorations.  Paste the red-yellow-orange-brown-gold leaves to construction paper and hang in kids’ rooms.  Make a pinecone bird-feeder.

3. Don’t forget apples.  Autumn is apple time.  Visit an apple orchard.  Pick some.  Learn about different kinds of apples.  Make apple cider, or at least drink some.  Make an apple pie.  Make apple chips.  Make apple butter.  Make candy apples.  Yum.  Pumpkin farms are lots of fun, too. 

4. Take a nature walk.  “Leaf peeping” is the season’s most popular activity.  While you’re walking, chat about the changing weather (a science lesson, but don’t tell them), count the number of different trees and colors you see (a math lesson, but don’t tell them), or write a little poem or song about fall (a language arts lesson, but don’t tell them).  Take pictures and send to Grandma.  A nature bike ride is good, too.

5. Do some gardening.  Plant some bulbs for the spring.  Together, use the internet, a friendly neighborhood gardener, or library books to find spring bulbs that need to be planted now.  Together, decide which you want to plant.

6. Go on a hayride.  Lots of farms offer hayrides to schools and families.  Together, do a little research to find one close to you.  This could be a good class field trip, too.  Talk to your kids’ teachers to see if they’re interested.  Volunteer to organize, fund-raise, and chaperone.

7. Keep a fall journal.  I’m a great fan of family journals, especially when everyone takes part.  Every day, each person contributes a couple of lines – thoughts, memories, ideas, poems – or a drawing or photo.  By the end of the season, you’ll have a family keepsake.  On paper or online.

8. Get ready for Halloween.  Homemade costumes are so much more fun (and less expensive) than store-bought ones.  Talk about what they want to dress up as – heroes, favorite animals, book or toy characters – and then discuss creative ways to make the costumes.  Go trick or treating with the kids, for safety and for keeping in touch with other parents.

9. Play touch football.  No sport represents fall better than football.  Play touch (or flag) football as a family.  Good exercise, good fun, and good togetherness.  No rough-housing.

10. Be thankful.  Want to be rich?  Count your blessings.  It’s not Thanksgiving yet, but it’s always a good habit to be aware of the good things in our lives.  Talk about them at bedtime, when kids are decompressing from a busy day. 

If your family is in a part of the country that doesn’t have changing colors and temperatures, travel via the internet to places that do.  You’ll find lots to talk and wonder about together.  Why do the leaves change colors?  How come some trees change colors and others don’t?  Why do the seasons change?   Ask questions together.  Discover answers together.  It’s the togetherness that counts.

Here we are at the beginning of October, and lots of families are planning fall trips to look at the foliage, to visit Grandma, or just to get away for a day or two.  Car trips can be family fun or family misery, depending on how well we’ve planned for them.  Nothing major, just a few steps to make sure everyone’s reasonably happy. 

Anything to postpone the first “Are we there yet?”

I’ve been on lots of family road trips and even more school field trips.  If you think kids in a car can be a handful, try forty of them in a bumpy yellow school bus.  Here are some inexpensive, low-tech, all-inclusive tips on keeping everyone occupied.  I’ve discovered some on my own and borrowed others from clever parents and teachers.  Ten or fifteen minutes per game seems to be a good rule of thumb.  Cut them short if they’re flagging, extend them if they’re a hit.

1. Scavenger hunt.  Kids never tire of scavenger hunts.  Before the trip, think up some interesting, somewhat challenging categories – farm vehicles, antique cars, interesting road signs (“Twenty miles ‘til Petting Goat Zoo” “Fifteen miles ‘til Petting Goat Zoo”), red convertibles, choo-choo trains.

2. ABCs.  Good for early learners.  Start with A’s, move on to B’s and keep on going to see how far you can go.  Look for road signs, cars, landmarks, and other sights that you can alphabetize or categorize.  Let them feel really smart, and do the alphabet backwards.

3. “I spy.”  “I spy with my little eye something red.”  Or green, or huge, or in the air, or on the skyline, or whatever.  To keep the game moving, limit guesses to a certain number.  I’ve found ten to be just right for kid-attention-spans.

4. License plates and maps. Map-reading is an important skill.  Combine it with the license plate game, where you try to find as many states and foreign countries as you can.  Color in a map, decorate it with stickers and original “artwork,” or let each kid have her own map and compare at the end of the trip.  Highlight the route you’re taking, figure out how long until the next rest stop, and learn north-south-east-west.  Look for funny personalized plates.  (My favorite, on the Mercedes convertible of an obvious divorcee: “Was His.”  I got more of a kick out of it than the kids, but it was worth it.)

5. Cars.  Some kids really get into this, maybe future engineers and designers.  Try to identify as many makes and models as you can.  Keep a list.  Talk about how you’re recognizing them – design differences from one year to the next, even the sound of the engines.  Foreign?  Domestic?  Gas?  Electric?  Hybrid?

6. Card games.  Simple card games can while away the time.  Some cards are specially made for car trips, magnetized on a metal tray.

7. DVDs.  Of course.  Have some favorites on hand, a new one or two, maybe even some based on a book you all have read together.

8. Rest stop games.  Let the kids help determine when and where to stop for rests.  (Use their maps to find appropriately spaced places or particularly scenic ones.)  Stretch.  Bring along a nerf ball, a Frisbee, a jump rope. 

9. Trivia.  Prepare a couple of categories of trivia.  Be ready to ask questions about favorite sports, athletes, movies, foods, even school topics.  I particularly like family trivia, which personalizes the game and helps kids learn about their relatives.  (“Grandpa’s rank in the army was master sergeant.  True or false?”  “Great grandma came from what country?”  “Where did Aunt Laura go to nursing?”  “What neighborhood did Daddy grow up in?”

10. Crafts.  No, you can’t have finger paints, scissors, and paste in the car, but you can keep everyone happily busy with coloring books, blank-page art notebooks, and – I love this idea – pipe cleaners, which can be made into just about anything.

There are others.  Songs, for instance, have saved my sanity, even though I’m left mentally singing “You Are My Sunshine” for days afterwards.  Your family will create its own favorites.

I’ve found it’s helpful to involve the kids well before the trip.  Ask for their help finding the best routes, rest stops, figuring out travel time (teach them “ETD” and “ETA” so they’ll feel grown up).  Have a few ideas in your mind for trivia games and interesting conversation topics.  Most of all, set your mind – and theirs – that this is going to be family fun.  Relax.  Bon voyage.

I’ve taught a lot of kids over the years.  Kids of lots of races, lots of geographic areas, lots of cultures, religions, and nationalities, lots of socio-economic backgrounds.  A pretty diverse group.  There’s one characteristic, though, that’s common to all of them – the more involvement of the folks at home, the more success of the kids in school. 

I taught at one school where, on Back-to-School Nights and PTA meetings, the faculty sat around and talked to each other because there weren’t any parents bothering to show up.  At another school, you couldn’t park in the same zip code for all the cars on the parking lot.  Guess whose kids did better in school?

Ask any teacher.  Listen to your common sense.  Read the research.  (Google “parental involvement and school success”, and you’ll see.)  The results are the same. 

Being a positive role model is one of the most frequent “tips” we share here at the Dr. Rick Blog for just about every topic, and we even spent an entire post on increasing parental involvement .

It’s been a while, so time for a reminder.

Instead of the Three R’s, here are Ten R’s of being good role models for kids.  Remember, they do what we do more than they do what we say.

1.    Reading.  Want to increase kids’ reading skills and comprehension?  Start by letting them see you reading.  For information.  For directions.  For the pure pleasure.  When kids know that reading is something all adults do, and that we learn and derive pleasure from it, they’ll be far more motivated to read on their own.  Make it part of your family.

2.    Writing.  Writing reflects thinking.  Show kids that writing is important for expressing our thoughts, ideas, and feelings.  Keeping family journals, writing captions for family photo albums, composing notes and letters to relatives, revising written school work until it passes your requirements – all make for high standards.

3.    ‘Rithmetic.  Can’t get along without math in today’s world, so don’t even try to get around this one, even if you did poorly in the subject when you were their age.  Include math in everyday life with your kids – kitchen math, restaurant math, travel math, grocery store math, money math, calendar math and others all play a big role in their learning about numbers .  You don’t have to tell them it’s math, by the way.

4.    Responsibility.  We want our kids to take responsibility for their actions and ideas, to be trustworthy and accountable.  When we do what we say we’re going to do, we’re good role models.

5.    Recreation.  We want our kids to be good sports .  To play fair, know and abide by the rules, keep their tempers, and not make excuses.  So we do the same.  Remember, they’re watching us.

6.    Reverence.  We can’t make them saints, but we can give kids a background in the faith traditions of our families and communities.  Biblical stories permeate our language (“She has the patience of Job!” “It rained so hard I expected to see an ark!”), so at least give them some common knowledge.  Rituals, the feeling of belonging to a larger group, and the civilizing effects of houses of worship all contribute to kids’ growth .  

7.    Reliability.  When we show up on time, when we complete tasks, when we’re honest, we show kids how to be trustworthy, credible, and honorable. 

8.    Resourcefulness.  Give kids the very foundation of lifelong learning by showing them the power of curiosity .  Encourage curiosity through imaginative play, exploration, and discovery.

9.    Respectfulness.  Respectfulness may seem in short supply in today’s hectic world, but that doesn’t mean your kids must be held back by rudeness and disrespect.  Show how you control your temper, stay calm, and avoid unnecessary arguments.  After some scrapes and bruises, they’ll learn to do the same. 

10.  Reasonableness.  Just listen to some of the cockamamie nonsense that comes our unwilling way during any day.  Wouldn’t it be nice if reasonableness made a comeback?  When we try to be reasonable – we can’t be perfect, so we may as well aim for reasonable – our kids see that we’re attempting, in a sometimes nutty world, to keep them safe and loved.  That’s our main job as the adults in their lives, anyway.

We adults, parents and teachers, take our roles seriously.  We want only the best for our kids.  If our busy lives cause us to cut corners from time to time, we remind ourselves that the kids are watching.  That puts us back on the straight and narrow.

Listen to this.  Earlier this spring I read a mildly disturbing article in The Wall Street Journal about apps and gadgets that take on the role of our mothers, reminding us to do what’s right and healthy.

Mothers, as we all know, exist to keep us on the straight and narrow, telling us to mind our posture, brush our teeth, floss, go out and get some exercise, don’t eat too fast, get a good night’s sleep, say our prayers, and you’re not going out looking like that, people will think we don’t have mirrors in our house.

So, I was moderately surprised to learn that allegedly adult people are willing to fork over actual money to have smart phones, digital bracelets, electronic pedometers, and other devices remind them to do what they should have learned from their moms a long time ago.

This got me to thinking.  What if there were gadgets that nagged – excuse me, reminded – students like we teachers sometimes are forced to do? 

Stay with me here, I could be onto something. 

Instead of counting how often and how long they brush their teeth, some useful tool could analyze our kids’ study habits.

Imagine.  Some device could carry on conversations with kids,asking guiding questions that would ease their way through each school day.  Questions like these.

1.   Are you organized for tomorrow?  Is your homework in your notebook, neatly written and ready to turn in?  What about that science project – is it in its box, sitting by the front door so you don’t forget it in tomorrow morning’s rush?  Do you have the permission slip for the field trip signed? 

2.   Did you learn your math facts?  Remember what happened during that last pop quiz?  Don’t want that to happen again, do we?  How about a few minutes of practice?

3.   What about this week's spelling words?  The weekly test is Friday, so how are you doing?  Maybe a practice test tonight during homework time would be useful.  Ask your study buddy to quiz you.  You do have a study buddy or two, don’t you?

4.   Did you behave in class today?  Follow directions?  So, how’d you do today in class?  Did you stay away from your “friends” who like to disrupt class and get you in trouble?  How come they never get caught, only you?  Did you pay attention to directions?  Remember what happened last time you spaced out as Ms. Throgmorton told the class what questions to answer and you did the wrong ones?

5.   How are you improving your learning?  It’s your life, skills, knowledge, and future.  What did you do today to help yourself? 

6.   What are you and your study buddies doing to help each other?  That science test is next week.  Have you and your study buddies been reviewing a little every day, quizzing each other, competing with each other?

7.   How are you keeping yourself on track?  You're maintaining a planner, right?  Keeping a planner is one of the best ways to organize yourself.  Have you been entering your assignments, tests, and other important dates?  Stop complaining, just get in the habit.

8.   Is your work area at home efficient and organized?  You often say it takes you an hour to do your homework, but you spend half of that time just looking for your supplies and materials.  What’s your work area look like?  A war zone?  If so, fix it.

9.   Who's your role model?  The best way to improve and learn is to emulate someone who’s a champ.  An athlete, a musician, an expert in whatever  activity you’re interested in.  Do you have someone to look up to?

10. What goal is giving you the biggest challenge?  The most benefits?  You’ve set your goals for this school year, right?  Which one is giving you a hard time?  What are you going to do about it?  Should you ask for extra after-school help ?  Any goal you’re doing gangbusters on?  Tell your parents, friends and teachers about it.  They’ll be happy for you. 

These are some of the questions we adults – parents and teachers – ask our kids all the time.  Should there be some gadget to ask these questions of our kids, some device that could replace our pleasing voices with a convenient electronic voice? 

Nah.

Listen to this.  Educators across America are gearing up to revamp science classes to spark kids’ imaginations, curiosity, and innovation long before they head off to college or to the workforce.  It’s about time.

I’ve known plenty of really terrific science teachers during my teaching career.  They’re the ones whose classes look a little hectic (okay, sometimes a lot hectic) as kids are examining, hypothesizing, discussing, debating, and experimenting.  Sometimes they’re outside – one of my schools was located on a creek that eventually made its way to the Chesapeake Bay – looking closely at wildlife, plant life, environmental features, natural and manmade artifacts, and scanning the skies for various cloud formations. 

Kids love these classes.  They’re hands-on, energizing, involving, and rip-roaring fun, especially when the kids are following their own interests.  With the shepherding guidance of their teacher, of course.

Last week we talked about how important it is for kids to have supportive mentors in the STEM subjects especially – science, technology, engineering, and math .  The discussion continues nationally.

Here are a few examples of how science in schools is increasingly reflecting science in the real world.

1.      Asking questions.  Sure, memorizing facts is still important, but equally so is the ability to ask probing, thoughtful questions inspired by those memorized facts.  “Okay, I get photosynthesis, but what happens when smog interferes?  I’d like to find out more about that.” 

2.      Extracurricular activities.  Don’t tell them, but the children in after-school Lego and Kinect clubs are deeply and compellingly involved in engineering.  I’ve seen incredible constructions of cityscapes, high rises, Star Wars battleships, playground designs, and even medieval villages. 

3.      Competitiveness.  In the future – heck, even now – STEM skills are in high demand in increasing numbers of jobs.  Technology-related jobs in countless fields are waiting to be filled by STEM-smart workers.  The Googles of the world are working with science educators to form the workforce of the future. 

4.      Natural curiosity.  Kids are naturally curious .  Their inquisitive and eager interests lead to inquiry, discovery, and learning.  This reaches a peak for lots of kids in middle school, when they’re discovering new interests constantly.  This can drive parents crazy, but it’s natural.  Why limit it to adolescence, though?  Lifelong curiosity makes for vibrant, endless opportunities. 

5.      Business involvement.  I’ve already mentioned Google, but lots of industries are increasingly interested in science-oriented workers.  Entertainment is filled with special effects, from blockbuster movies to Broadway shows.  Space exploration promises literally to open new worlds.  Crime fighting is not too different from those cool CSI shows.  Environmental studies hold enormous promise.  Health care, robotics, meteorology, even athletics.  (You think there’s no science in Under Armour?)     

6.      Higher education involvement.  The National Science Teachers Association, The American Association for the Advancement of Science, the National Science Foundation, along with colleges and universities like The Johns Hopkins University, with its Center for Talented Youth  are all working to make our kids curious and smart.

7.      Parental involvement.  Parents everywhere see the value of creative, highly motivating, hands-on STEM instruction.  Encouraging science majors in colleges and universities to teach science, technology, engineering, or math in K-12 schools would give our schools a new generation of young and with-it teachers eager to share their skills, knowledge, and enthusiasm.  It’s time.     

8.      Schools involvement.  Most school systems now have schools, magnet programs, or “academies” that specialize in the STEM subjects.  Good for them.  Look into the offerings of your school system or individual school.

Revamping science education – and the way kids think about STEM subjects – is one of American education’s most urgent challenges.  It seems every time you pick up another study of global education you see other countries seeming to take the challenge more seriously than we do.  We have a reputation for being the world’s most entertained country.  Let’s be the most educated, too.

In our last Dr. Rick Blog, we talked about the importance of mentors for kids, adults who can inspire, motivate, and encourage our kids to succeed.  Teachers, coaches, folks in our communities, neighbors, tutors, family – they’re all sources of support.

I made particular mention of science, technology, engineering, and math, the STEM subjects that form the basis of so much learning.  Along with language arts – reading, writing, speaking, and listening – these subjects are crucial for today’s schooling, tomorrow’s college and job training, and lifelong learning.  Girls and boys.

Science and the related fields are particularly important today.  Mentors who can show kids the power of science can put students on a road to personal and professional success.    Here are half a dozen reasons why kids need to learn science and why we adults need to encourage and mentor them to do so.

1. Don’t get left behind.  It’s a tech, tech, tech, tech world.  Show them that just about every cool gadget, tool, game, or device everybody wants today has a pretty strong tech connection.  
2. Get ready for the jobs of the future.  If they really want to have an exciting and maybe even fun career, they’re going to have to have a solid foundation in science.  Medicine.  Aeronautics.  Automobile design.  Manufacturing.  Robotics.  Genetics.  Forensic crime solving. Video game design.  Animation.  Athletics.  (Yes, athletics.  You think professional swimmers don’t know about wave dynamics?)  Music.  Movies.  Military.  Fashion.  Theatre.  Weather.  My nephew just got his heating/ventilation/air conditioning certification and a job he loves.  You’d never believe the science he needed to know.
3. Be science literate.  We make all kinds of life decisions based on science, so we better know what we’re doing.  Health decisions.  Medical decisions.  Family decisions.  Farming, ecological, driving, construction, and spending decisions.  They all involve science.
4. Roll your sleeves up.  The best science education is hands-on.  Your kids should be telling you about the experiments they perform in school, the engineering projects they design and build, and the innovative ideas they have for the science fair.  Tactile learners, those who need to touch and feel and move, are the natural audience for science classes.  Science teachers can be inspirational.  If your kids are learning science from texts only, ask why.  I repeat, science class should be hands-on.
5. Build those skills.  Learning science lets our kids build lots of tangential skills.  Critical thinking.  Curiosity.  Teamwork.  Research.  Perseverance.  And, of course, the subject most closely associated with and integral to science, math.
6. Don’t forget the gifted and talented kids.  Really smart kids need our support and encouragement.  They need to have teaching that challenges them and stretches their talents.  They need help in discovering their interests and gifts, in learning with peers who have similar interests, and in boosting their confidence.  Science topics, labs, and projects are perfect for them.

Here’s  a really cool video that kids will love.  So will adults.  It’s a great wide-eyed introduction to engineering’s importance in our world.  If I were the sponsor of an after-school Lego Club, I’d be sure to show this to the children.  “Look at what creative engineers can figure out.  What are some other ways engineers could demolish a building safely in a crowded space, without explosions or implosions?”  When kids brainstorm, look out!